PINKBUNNIESLIPPERS

Dear Madonna.
I remember sitting in study hall (Yeah, I was cool. Imagine a Breakfast Club vibe) back in the early 80's* when I first heard Holiday on a really big boom box. Not being a Top 40 kind of gal (shout out to Black Flag, The Cramps and Dead kennedy's) I assumed you were the rage. A fly by night "pop" star. Then I saw you on American Bandstand (Saturday's at 11am I was dedicated even through the mohawk phase) claiming you "wanted to rule the world" and I thought "AWESOME!" Then sadly I lost interest after the whole "Like a Virgin" shenanigans and all your other bids for attention from the world you wanted to rule. Don't get me wrong, my friend Matilda** made me go watch her in a Madonna look alike contest (one word got me there, Gin) at Club 2000. And occasionally I was humming a catchy tune (Hey Mr DJ put a record on...)
Anyhoo fast forward 30 years.
I feel embarrassed for you.
It's kind of like when I was young and Aunt Katherine** lingered at the liquor too long during family parties and started singing her version of "Happy Birthday Mr President" (wig askewed and mascara running) and got escorted quickly away before anything happened like that time with the...I digress
In other words. Over 50 means put away the thong for public viewing. Having a photographer document you writhing on sheets isn't helping your cause either.
Please stop. My eyes are burning.








*ok ok ok very early 80's. Think Nicolas Cage in Valley girl early 80's


**name changed to protect the innocent. Ok the guilty party with regrets.